33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! 34 For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? 35 Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? 36 For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. (Romans 11:33-36)
If I remember right it was November 19, 2013, I was about 5 minutes out of Chickasha, headed to Norman to see a friend when my mom called. She said my grandma was taken to the emergency room by an ambulance. I turned around and picked up my mom, then we went to the hospital.
I didn't know a person could turn orange, until I saw my grandma that day. Apparently she had jaundice. And this was no "yellow-ish tint" this was straight up orange. It was horrible seeing my grandma like that, and maybe even harder for me to see my mom, see her mom like that.
They transferred her to OKC and near the end of November (around Thanksgiving time) the doctors diagnosed her with pancreatic cancer. The doctors said she might have six more months. A few days before the diagnosis, I purchased my plane ticket to leave for Cambodia on January 21st. Of course my mom wanted me to stay. In some ways I wanted to stay, and felt horrible for leaving my mom, but 1. Only God knows when our times is up 2. I was hoping my mom would seek God more if she was extra lonely with me being gone 3. I was ready to go to Cambodia (that's where I truly felt like I should be).
I made the decision to give my life to Christ six years before this. In that six years, I'd invited my grandma to church several times. She always put the blame on my grandpa, and basically said no. I invited her to church, and would maybe give some information about Jesus, but I could never seem to muster up the courage to ask her any questions, or really talk about Christ.
#1 I'm thankful for cancer bc it was a warning for the death to come
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. (James 4:14)
(None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but we see it more when we hear death knocking at the door)
The warning gave the whole family "extra" time to prepare for her death. More importantly than that, the warning gave me the push to do something I should've done years earlier and find out where my grandma would go when she died (if hell, then pray and offer her the gift of salvation through Christ and Christ alone.) I said I got the push, but it still took me going over to her house several times before I left, only to leave wondering why I couldn't bring up the topic. Finally, the last time I saw her, we talked about life after death.
She shared that she had believed in Jesus many years before when she waited tables and a pastor had shared the gospel with her. Praise the Lord, that I could we could have hope knowing that she would go to heaven when she died. I asked why she never taught us about Him ... She said she tried to go to church before, but nobody would go with her and she was busy a lot with work and kids. This describes the life of so many people.
20 The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away. (Matthew 13:20-21)
(As Christians: We must not forsake assembling together [Hebrews 10:25]. We must have communication with God daily, through prayer and reading His Word. We must tell others about the hope we have in Christ [1 Peter 3:13] ... that is, if we want to bear fruit [Mt 13:23] We do have a say in what kind of "soil" our heart is made of)
# 2 I'm thankful for cancer because it humbles us
- Without the deep lows of life, we think we've got things under control. It's when we're at the very bottom that we see our need for Christ and that we never had anything under control.
- It often times takes a hard fall for us to seek the help of God
Many many times I prayed, "Lord, you are capable of a miracle. You can heal my grandma. IF You healing my grandma will bring my family, especially my mom, to know You, then please heal her. IF You taking my grandma from this earth is what it will take to bring them to You, then Lord please take her and rid her of this pain. I want to see my grandma again. I want my kids to know her, but even more, I want my mom to know You."
One night, (like many others) I couldn't sleep. This particular night I thought of my grandma and prayed that prayer and believed with all my heart, every word I said. And of course I prayed through a lot of tears. Still not being able to sleep, I called my mom. I was actually afraid to call her because I knew she was with my grandma. I really thought my grandma was going to die while I was on the phone with my mom.
About a month later, while I was at a meeting in Thailand, I had a message from the front desk that said, "call mom." That means she died. I called my mom and she hadn't died, but she said, "the time is near." I got to talk to my grandma and the last words I said to her were, "see you later!"
A few days later, she did die. I flew back to the states and stayed for a couple weeks. I was greatly encouraged while I was there, and I hope that I was of some spiritual benefit to my mom. Then I came back to Cambodia.
After being back for a short time, I saw on Facebook that my aunt was going through a really hard time. I messaged her, encouraged her to seek God. She said she was trying too. I invited her to my friend's church and asked my friend to follow up with her. A month or so later, my aunt repented and was baptized! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38)
I didn't experience the pain that my grandma went through, but I know, that with her knowing what she knows now, she would go through it again for her baby girl to know Christ.
Paul said "16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
# 3 I'm thankful for cancer because God used it for good
-Examples stated above! I also grew from this and God's done and is doing more through that situation than I will ever know.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I raised you up, to demonstrate My power in you, and that My name might be proclaimed throughout the whole earth.” (Romans 9:17)
Remember the story of Joseph? Here's what he told his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." (Genesis 50:20)
One of the biggest things I've learned through my own sin and hard times, is that when we take down those walls (or when God tears them down) and share our hardships, we realize "I am not alone! Other people (though they don't know exactly) have been through what I've been through / am going through..." God put us here together, to His hands and feet.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) Now, I can share this story with others.
Tonight I taught at our "CONNECT" program. I titled the message "Why do bad things happen?" In essence it's the same story.
I shared some of the verses above and told the same story about my grandma and aunt.
I asked Tut-se-ah to translate for me. I was surprised how willing she was to begin with. She used to be a pretty shy person. I thought of asking her because it would be a good stepping stone / help give her more confidence or courage to maybe share her testimony later on, or do other leadership type things.
She was nervous, as was I, and we made mistakes, but we shared my real life example of how God works all things together for good [Romans 8:28] and we shared truth from the Bible about why bad thing happen:
1. Because we sin [Galatians 6:7]
2. Because they bring God glory [Romans 1:17]
3. Because they help us to grow / mature, and have a stronger faith in God, [James 1:2-3]
I think it went well, and I pray that God uses it to bring His children closer to Him, and to bring others to a saving knowledge of Christ. I also pray that God would continue to work through our young sister, Tut-se-ah, that she would be a bold witness for Christ!
Thank you for praying beforehand. You can still be praying that God will continue to use my story to work in hearts. Also pray for our sister, Night. She will be teaching next week about prayer. Pray as she prepares, as we help her in prepare, and for next Wednesday (5-6am CST) as she teaches. There have also been some problems amongst her family, so you can pray for that too!
Also pray for our sister, So-pbet, and her family. Her mother died yesterday, from cancer.
THANK YOU!
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