>>RIGHT AFTER BELIEVING (2006)
The night I was saved, I went home and told my mom about the decision I’d made to follow Christ. She was a little upset because she wasn’t there. She said, “Isn’t that a big deal? You should have waited for us all to be there.” She didn’t understand, that’s not something you wait to do. Once God has really gotten your attention, and you KNOW how much you need Him, you don’t want to wait around. You just want to run as fast as you can, into His loving arms.The following day, Tuesday, right before first hour, I told two of my friends and they were so excited. Later I told my other friends who were also very excited.
After I became a child of God, the College and Career teachers encouraged me to memorize Scripture and read the Bible daily. They gave me a list of some places I could start reading. I continued attending church and reading the Bible, and began memorizing Scripture with my friend. I also began going to First Priority every Friday with my friends. I was an 18 year old babe, growing in the ways of the Lord.
>> OCCC / BCM / GLORIETTA (2007-2008)
I started going to Oklahoma City Community College in the fall of 2007. While I was at OCCC, I went to the Noonday Lunch’s with the BCM. We met in a classroom, ate food, and were taught a lesson by the BCM director. Early in the spring semester, the director told us about Glorietta, a summer camp for college students. I had an interest in going, but I didn’t know anybody else who was going. One day he brought in a guest speaker. I don’t remember a lot about it, or details of what the guy taught, but God showed me that I was letting fear control me and keep me from going to Glorietta. After that I signed up to go!
All of the Oklahoma City metro schools go to Glorietta together. There were people from Rose State Community College, Oklahoma City University, OU Health Sciences Center, and me from OCCC. I didn’t know a single person who was going. The OCU BCM director was the main leader taking us, so we had messaged each other a couple times, but I didn’t even know her.
I had never been to any kind of camp before so I was a little nervous. I was going to have to get up pretty early, because we were all meeting and leaving from the OCU BCM in Oklahoma City, so I set three alarm clocks. I think we were supposed to be there by 7:00am and planned on leaving around 8. I didn’t hear any of the three alarms go off. I woke up by my dad calling me just after 8 o’clock. Ahhhh! I didn’t know what to do. I called the OCU director and told her that I just woke up in Chickasha. Everything in me wanted to say, “Just leave without me,” but I couldn’t say it without crying so I kept my talking to a minimum. She suggested different cities in between where I was and where they were going, but I am horrible with geography and had no clue how to get to any of them, so she said they would just wait in Oklahoma City. I felt horrible! I finally got there, and everybody was loaded up in two vans, ready to go, and just waiting on me. They had a spot for me next to one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever met. Her and two other girls, all from OCU, talked to me and included me in their conversation, and never said anything to me about being so late. I was truly shown the love of Christ through those three girls and the OCU director. Because of the way they handled the situation, I had a wonderful week, made many new friends, and grew closer to my Father!
>> SUMMER 2009
The summer of 2009, I signed up to be a teacher’s assistant for VBS. Not long after I’d signed up, God put the thought in my head that I could teach. Like Moses, I was completely inadequate, so I told the Children’s Pastor that if nobody else signed up to teach and there was still a need, then I would teach. Sure enough, there was a need, so I taught and awesome group of third and fourth grade boys that week. It was the first time I’d ever taught anything, much less the Bible. Little did I know, it was only the beginning of me teaching.>> OU / BCM (2009 - 2010)
May of 2009, my mom and I started looking for me an apartment in Norman since I was transferring to OU, and would be starting my third year of college in August. It came down to choosing between two different places. One was a one bedroom apartment very close to the Engineering buildings on campus. The other was a two bedroom apartment south-east of campus. I originally wanted a one-bedroom because that’s what I had before and I wouldn’t have to worry about roommate issues. I’d also never lived with anyone other than family. My mom wanted me to have a roommate so that there’d be someone expecting me to come home each night, and would be concerned if something happened to me and I didn’t come home. I was praying between the two options and decided on the two-bedroom apartment, and asked God to give me a roommate that I could minister to or one that would encourage me to grow closer to Him.He gave me a wonderful Christian, studious, clean roommate who’d previously been involved with the OU BSU. Because of the way I’d seen God work in my life through the Oklahoma City metro BCM’s, I REALLY wanted to get involved with the BSU at OU. My roommate told me about the Pizza Bash that the BSU does every year before school starts, and other ways I could try to get involved with the BSU.
I found it a bit difficult to get plugged due to my schedule and the fact that I was a transfer student. My first semester at OU, I also had one class at OCCC. Both school’s ministries offered something on Thursday night. The OU BSU had Paradigm and the OKC-Metro had Renown in Oklahoma City, near OCCC. I went to Paradigm a few times, but didn’t know anyone and it was just easier to continue going to Renown, where I had several friends. My second semester at OU, since I didn’t have a class in the city, it didn’t make sense for me to drive up there just to go to Renown, when Paradigm was pretty much the same thing, so I started going to Paradigm each week. There was one night that I went in, was by myself and was thinking, “Someone should see that I’m by myself and reach out to me. As I thought this, I knew it was selfish. I am a child of God, I can just as easily reach out to other people too.” A few minutes later, a couple girls invited me to sit with them. After Paradigm was over, I was talking to the girl that I sat by and she got my phone number. Several days later she called me and wanted to go to lunch. I remember hanging up the phone thinking that was so weird, but was still glad she called. That never happens. I began eating lunch with her about every other week, and I didn’t realize it then, but she was pouring into my life and I was learning from her … on top of the fact that I’d already learned that even though it may be weird or awkward, I should reach out to other people, because it’s not about me, but about God.
Near the end of February 2010, while at Paradigm, I saw one of the ladies on staff who’d I’d talked to a semester earlier about wanting to get involved with the BSU. She recognized me and asked if I’d gotten plugged in yet. I told her that I hadn’t and she invited me to a Bible study that she and the BSU director were leading on Tuesday nights! It was through that connection that I was really able to get plugged in.
>> TEACHING / DO SOMETHING!! (2009 – 2010)
Near the end of 2009, the third grade Sunday school teacher at my church asked me if I could teach her class one week, because she was going to be out of town. I agreed, it was just one week, and I’d just taught the same age in VBS, though I was still a little nervous.Shortly after that, either the fifth grade Sunday school teacher or the children’s pastor talked to me about being a substitute Sunday school teacher. I would fill in every so often, as needed. I thought that would be okay, but wanted to be better prepared to teach, so I sat in on several children’s Sunday school classes. I wanted to learn from the teachers and see how they taught.
Around that time, the fourth grade Sunday school teacher talked to me about possibly taking over her class. She felt like she should be with her husband and with the youth. That was a big decision for me. I felt inadequate, and selfishly didn’t want to give up going to the College and Careers Sunday school class. I didn’t have an amazing moment where I was sure that was what God was calling me to do, really I was still very unsure. I was mostly afraid, and it was a big commitment. Mostly through the confirmation of other mature believers, I agreed to teach the class.
I sat in for several weeks, learning from her and getting to know the kids until that semester of lessons were completed. I started teaching on my own that December. I came to really enjoy teaching and loved the kids.
To start out the new year, the church had the theme, “DO SOMETHING!” I was challenged to think, “What can this class of fourth graders ‘DO’?” Well, there are several things that they could do, but I decided that we could, as a class, pray for one another and a friend. Each child chose one friend whom we could pray for regularly, in addition to our weekly prayer requests.
One young man asked for us to pray that his friend would come to church. We were able to see God answer that prayer only a couple months later, and his friend came to church and Sunday school regularly! Since that request was answered, he wanted us to pray that that friend’s sister to believe in Christ, and several months later she did! So far, I have seen those two prayers answered, and one other.
Just this past summer, 2012, the friend of one of the girls who was in that class got saved at VBS! A couple nights later, I was lying in bed and remembered, “That friend was the one we’d prayed for.” I got up and searched for where I had written down the prayer requests and found the friend’s name. The next day I asked the girl who was in my class if it was the same friend she’d asked us to pray or , and sure enough it was! Wow! I am constantly amazed at how great our God is!
Teaching fourth grade Sunday school was such a blessing. I had the privilege to teach, build relationships with, and learn from three different groups of students. I can now see how God also used that to prepare me to teach His Word in Cambodia to high school and college students. The two classes are very similar in the way they are taught.
>> OBEDIENCE
Around November 2009, my semester was pretty busy, I was staying up late a lot working on projects for one of my classes, so I got to where I would not read my Bible every day. I would read every other day, or every two days. I was really embarrassed about this, and didn’t want anyone to know. I thought every “good Christian” should read their Bible every day. There were a couple times that I wanted to tell one of the ladies at my church, but when I thought of it I did not have the courage. Also, because I was a Sunday school teacher that made it even more difficult to tell someone because I thought I had to live up to a certain image and be an example. I was not allowed to have flaws.One Thursday night in early February 2010, I went to Renown, and was convicted about not reading the Bible, and even more convicted that I was keeping it a secret. After the service I told the new OCU BCM director and she prayed with me. On my way home that night, I had this burden that I needed to talk to my roommate about it. I did not want to at all. I had seen things around the house that showed me how super spiritual she was. It was pretty late when I got home, so I knew that she would be in bed and I wouldn’t have to talk to her about it. I opened the door to my apartment, and sure enough, there she was, sitting at the table right in front of the door, on her computer, doing homework. We made small talk then I told her. She shared how she understood and sometimes it is difficult for her to read her Bible every day. (The things I’d seen around were her trying to get more disciplined, she wasn’t some super holy person who would judge me.) She offered for us to read our Bibles together, but I felt awkward about doing that, so I declined. Now I kind of wish I had accepted and taken the opportunity to learn from her. After that, I told a couple other people, making a small network of people who were praying for me and could ask if I’d read my Bible, or how I was doing with it. I felt so relieved after getting that out in the open!
I think I knew before, but reading the Bible every day is not something every Christian must do, and it does not make you a better / more spiritual “Christian.” Reading the Bible is something, we as children of God, should do to have a more intimate relationship with God, to know Him, to get strength and food for each day. “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word.” – 1 Peter 5:10. Being in God’s Word is something we should want and should long for, in the same way an infant longs for milk. I don’t know of anyone who has this desire all of the time. We all have days that maybe we just don’t feel like it, and if we don’t okay, but if we are disciplined even when we don’t feel like it, we are better off. I think many times when we are sick, we don’t feel like eating, but usually the only way to get strength and feel better is to eat anyways! “Jesus said, I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty.” –John 6:35. We find full satisfaction in Christ alone!
>> MI$$I0NS / SURRENDER (2010)
Not too long after I decided to follow Jesus, I began being convicted about the topic of mi$$I0ns, making disciples of all nations! It was preached on at church, talked about in Sunday school, and taught about in ministries I was involved with. Mi$$I0naries had even come to my church and talked about what God has done in their life, and the call for all of us to be involved somehow in mi$$I0ns. I had no problem giving financially, I would make an effort to pray for the nations and the mi$$I0naries, (though I’ve struggled with praying consistently), and I wanted to go on short-term trips, but I was NOT going to “GO” (long-term).I knew that I needed to surrender mi$$I0ns to God. I needed to be willing to go if He told me too. I couldn’t! I “knew” if I surrendered, then God would “make” me go. I obviously had a skewed vision of “surrender.” The first time I really remember having these thoughts, being convicted, was at the end of 2007, a year after I had been saved. Every time a Mi$$I0nary came to my church, and when mi$$I0ons was mentioned, I would cringe.
Over Spring Break in 2010, I had a friend, HAB, who went to a week-long conference with the BSU . She is a couple years older than me, and like many young ladies, she was single and worried about it. While she was there God really spoke to her about her singleness. She felt as if God said to her, “HAB, right now you are single. In the future you may or may not be single, but RIGHT NOW you are.” That may not be exactly how it went, but that’s what I remember, because when she came back and told me about it, it was if God told me, “Krystyn, right now you are in Chick / Norman. You do not need to worry about where you will be in the future. Trust Me with “your” future. For now, you are here, and that is all you need to worry about.”
It was then that I finally “surrendered” to mi$$I0ons. I told God that I am His and I will go if He says go. It was amazing! I was relieved of that weight. I was no longer telling God “no,” AND He didn’t make me go! It was not until June/July of 2012 that I first heard God say go (overseas). I mean we're all called to "GO!"
>> FRONTLINES SD (2010)
The summer of 2010, I was able to spend 10 days in San Diego, California with other students from the OU BSU to get training in evangelism, and to help start a college ministry at San Diego State University. It was there that God really transformed my life. I learned about God’s provision as He provided the funds for me to go. (I won a TV for renewing the contract for my apartment. I was able to sell the TV for $500, the exact amount needed to go on the trip!) I learned how to share my faith with strangers, and ask them about their beliefs. I learned the importance and the power of prayer, as we spent a lot of time praying together and prayer walking on campus. I also learned, in part, to trust and follow God.
Prior to those ten days, my plan was to graduate two years later and get a job in the Oklahoma City area. I don’t know if I would have even moved as far as Tulsa, but I would not even consider moving out of the state. After Frontlines, I still definitely preferred to live in Oklahoma, but I became willing to move to another state if needed.
>> LOVE / HUMILITY / RECEIVING HELP / MOVING (2011)
2010 was a difficult year for me, financially, but boy did I learn how to depend on God and turn to Him in the many times of trouble. He always made it work out! I also started to learn more about how to let people help me. A wise woman told me that God takes care of His children and one way He does that is through His other children. This is a lesson that is still really hard for me to practice (letting others help me). I’ve always been taught to be independent, not be a burden …Every Sunday night after church I would go over to my sister’s house and spend time with her and her family. One Sunday night, after I left her house and went home to Norman, she was lying in bed thinking of some way to make my financial life easier. Then she thought, she and her husband are building a new 3 bedroom house; her girls could share a room and I could stay in the 3rd room. She discussed it with her husband, my brother-in-law, and he agreed that I could live with them. She told me about it and I thought of every excuse possible… gas, time … (I didn’t want to impose). Finally, after figuring everything up, I’d save about $200 each month, by moving in with them, and she was very persistant!
It was a huge lesson in humility, to be able to impose in a huge way by moving in with them.
It was a HUGE lesson in the love of Christ. He provided that opportunity and put it on my sister’s heart to willingly offer her home and her family. His love is in her. Who else would invite somebody to move in with their family? I might add that at that time, my dad and her mom had only been married for three years.
This helped me to understand the idea of adoption. God has adopted me as his child. My step-sister has adopted me as her sister. Actually, this is something that just within the last few months I’ve understood. There’s no reason that she would treat me the way that she does. In many ways, she treats me like I treat my little brother, and there is not a person on this earth that I love more than my baby brother! Yes we fight … but he always HAS to love me. She doesn’t HAVE to love me. I would do anything for my brother. I’m his big sister and that is my job, and I would have it no other way. I am so thankful that God has given me a big sister! “By this shall men know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”
>> GOD USED MY SIN TO BRING HIM GLORY (2011)
“THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE.” Each of us have different struggles in the flesh whether it be pride, sexual immorality, lust, sensuality, fornication, comparing ourselves with others, unforgiveness, caring more about what others think than being obedient to God, idolatry, greed, anger, selfishness, complaining, judging, deceit, gossip, disobedience, … As children of the King, we are no longer slaves to our sinful flesh, but are free in Christ. With that being said, every person still struggles with some of these things. Near the end of my fourth year of college, God taught me a couple very important lessons about dealing with sin.Sin CANNOT stay in the dark! We must confess it as sin before God, and have someone whom we can trust so that they can pray for us, encourage us, and help hold us accountable. We must be open and honest with people we can really trust. I used to be a very secretive person. Really, I just didn’t share things with people. Even small, “unimportant” things, I kept to myself, especially how I felt and thought. I didn’t know how to talk about these things. Though I knew it was a lie, I didn’t really think people cared to hear about these things. Lastly, I was afraid to tell people even simple things: afraid of getting hurt, afraid it would negatively change their opinion of me, afraid I’d look like a fool, afraid they wouldn’t like me, afraid they’d know too much about me and be able to use that against me… I have definitely grown A LOT with being open and honest, but it is still very difficult for me. I’ve seen how being open and honest is actually freeing and builds relationships and releases the power from the evil one and brings glory to God, but at the same time, I sometimes still have a lot of those same thoughts and fears.
The most amazing thing I think I’ve ever seen God do was use my sin against Him, to bring Himself glory. I know it sounds crazy, but my God is able and does do crazy things that I could never think of. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that sin is okay. What I am saying is that God is bigger than my sin.
With this, I often think of when Joseph’s brothers sold him to the Midianites. Many years later, Joseph told his bothers, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
>> YOUTH GIRLS BIBLE STUDY (2011)
Toward the end of the spring 2011 semester, I felt God leading me to start a Bible study over the summer with the youth girls at my church. I really wanted to, but was also very scared because I hadn’t “led” a Bible study before, and I didn’t really know any of the youth girls. One Sunday morning I was talking to the lady who’d taught fourth grade Sunday school before me, and I brought up the idea of a Bible study with youth girls. I was blown away by her enthusiasm! She was totally on board, wanted to be a part of it, offered to let us have it at her house, and told the youth girls that were in her Sunday school group about it. That June, she and I started studying God’s Word with three high school girls.That summer, I was able to go to youth camp as a leader. I was able to room with that same lady, which gave more time to talk with her and learn from her. I first met her when we were both students in the College and Careers class, then I learned a lot about teaching Sunday school, leading a Bible study, and other “life things” from her!
>> CHILDREN’S CAMP (2011)
For months before Children’s camp I’d been trying to get my Sunday school class excited and want to go. For several students, money was an issue. I tried to tell them all that it shouldn’t be … for any kid who truly wants to go to camp … we will find a way! There was one particular girl, who came to church with her neighbor, that wanted to go, but kept saying her parents said they didn’t have the money. I’d planned on going to her house to talk to her parents, but kept forgetting. Before I knew it, it was a week before camp. Then there were several other obsticals, mainly my pride. Praise the Lord for my wonderful sister who encouraged me to get over myself and go talk to the girl’s parents. So I went, and they allowed her to go!I was also able to go to Children’s camp as a leader. I obviously learned from the preaching, but I also got to know some of the other women leaders and developed relationships I already had with girls who’d been in my Sunday school class. To top everything off … that girl that almost didn’t come because I was being disobedient and was not going to ask her parents, she gave her life to Christ that week!!!
>> CAMBO CHRISTMAS BREAK ... (2011-2012)
-Preparing
I heard about a team going to Cambodia for Christmas break in 2010-2011. By the time I heard about it, it was too late to apply, so I began praying about going the following year. When it got closer to the time to apply for (’11-’12), a friend of mine encouraged me to pray about going … I already was! I applied, and still wasn’t sure, but then God made it clear! He also put it on my heart to not ask for funds, but only pray and watch Him provide! (There is nothing wrong with asking unless God tells you not to.)In some ways not asking was easier … because I didn’t have to ask anyone! :-)However, it was very difficult mostly because I was expected by my leaders to ask. Everyone kept asking, “have you done your letters yet?” and I would have to explain everything to them … and I worried that they thought I was just being lazy, or that I was too prideful to ask for money … I also had to wait on God, and was incredibly blessed as I saw HIM provide! We had a deadline of an additional $2000 due by a certain Thursday. It was the Wednesday before and I needed $2000! The leader who was in charge of getting our plane tickets (among other details) encouraged me to call people. I told him that I was confident that I would have all of it by Thursday (my church had taken an offering the Sunday before that, and I knew it would all be provided for)! I got to church that Wednesday night and found that ~$300 had been given that Sunday morning. I went to my class in complete confusion and it took everything I had to not cry! I just sat in class trying to pay attention, but had no clue what God was going to do, I knew that He said He would take care of it, but from what I could see, it was impossible. After about 10-15 minutes of class, the church Secretary came and got me. They had taken another offering and my Pastor wanted me to share my testimony. I shared while they counted the money. … Just over $2000 was given … on a Wednesday night … when a lot of our congregation that comes on Wednesdays helps with the youth or AWANA’s. WOW! God did provide!!! It reminded me of Judges 7-8, where Gideon started with an army of 32,000 men and ended up with just 300 and God delivered them from the hand of Midian. Then God provided above and beyond for the other deadlines as well! I thank all of you whom were vessels for His provision!
- Prayer and Worship
Our first full evening in SEA, we were able to sit in on a prayer and worship service with one of the churches. There were about 25 students there that evening. We met in the house of one of the leaders of LSC. We all sat in a circle on the living room floor while the pastor of the church played his guitar, and they all sang praises and worshiped God in their language. It was beautiful. We had no clue what they were singing, but it was evident that their hearts were focused on the Father. I loved this time! It really opened my eyes to how much we are the same. We live on opposite sides of the world, speak a different language, and have different cultures, but we worship the same and only true God. Because He Lives in Khmer- Idols
-Language
We had less than a week left in SEA, so I was evaluating my time up to that point, and I had not yet verbally shared the gospel. Pretty much every non-believer I had spent time with didn’t have very good English. It was hard enough to ask simple questions like “how are you” and “what do you study,” much less go deeper. Several of my teammates had gotten to share with non-believers and they had some really good conversations with a few new believers.
That afternoon and evening, I shared these struggles with three of my teammates and one of the believing students (on three separate occasions). Each person shared Scripture and their past experiences that related. That night as I was reflecting on everything that had happened that day, God opened my eyes and my heart to really believe what I already knew to be true. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 3:6, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.” God uses each of us to play a different part, and ultimately He does the work. This was not the first time I had ever dealt with this issue of putting more importance on certain portions of sharing Christ with people, and I am sure it will come up again. Now I have a greater understanding and value for every member and the roles of those members in the body of Christ as it relates to this circumstance and others. We each have different strengths, weaknesses, experiences, and personalities, which God uses in different ways with each person, to reach different people.
>> DISHES
This is the story that a friend of mine shared. He shared that it seemed like he was the only one who was doing the dishes. He lived with three other guys. He would do the dishes, then a day or two later, the sink would be full of dishes again. So there he was doing the dishes AGAIN, and God opened his eyes. This is how he can love and serve his roommates. Then he realized, yea he may be the only one who does the dishes, but they do other things.I think almost every person thinks, “I’m doing it all.” And sometimes that may really be the case. But I think there are many things that the other people do that we take for granted, in the same way they take what we do for granted. Maybe you’re always the one who does the dishes, and I’m always the one who takes out the trash … It’s okay! We don’t need to focus so much on ourselves. Why do we keep a list of what you do and what I do … that doesn’t quite line up with really loving the other person. I mean Jesus gave His life, and all we have to offer is NOTHING! The Bible says:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, …” ~ Phil 2:3-5
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,” ~ Phil 2:14-15
>> LOVE / HUMILITY / ACCEPTING HELP / MOVING … AGAIN! (2012)
At the beginning of 2011, I moved in with my sister and her family, about 40 minutes from OU. My Fall ’11 semester worked out just fine because all of my teachers were really busy so they didn’t assign much homework. However, because I kept myself so busy (with GOOD things), other important things were neglected. Spring ’12 was a little different. It just wasn’t working out at all. I simply didn’t have enough time. (story of everybody's life, right?)I had been on the best Leadership team with the OU BSU and was talking with the lady leader, who discipled me, about my time. She asked if she could look over my schedule that I’d made on a spreadsheet. As she looked at it, trying to figure out some way to help, she saw that I was spending A LOT of time driving every day. She talked to her husband, and they invited me to live with them for the rest of the semester. I would help out (some) with food and stuff, but I’d still be saving some money on gas and I’d save a lot of time!
When they first offered, I felt so awkward. How could they offer that? I literally just met them at the end of August and the following January or February (7months later) they offered to open their home to me, not just for a night, but for four months! I thought I was imposing enough on my sister, but at least we were family, even if not by blood. And not that it makes a big difference, but they aren’t an older couple whose kids have already grown and moved out of the house. They are my age(ish). This truly shows THE BODY OF CHRIST.
>> THE GLEN (2012)
The two biggest things I learned that week were:
1. “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” ~ Galatians 1:10
2. Be open and honest! I had what was for me, a hard talk, with a very dear friend. It was hard, just because I had to open up and share my feelings … good feelings of how much I cared about her.
>> CAMBO SUMMER / MI$$I0NS (2012)
-Preparing
When I left Cambo from the first trip in January, I really wanted to come back on a summer team, but thought I couldn't. It was more like "I had other plans." I knew I'd be graduating in May, and thought I'd need to get a job right after graduating. Waiting a month or two would certainly decrease my ability to get a job. I also hoped that I'd be able to continue helping with the youth girls and children's ministry. Somehow I thought I'd be able to go to youth and / or children's camp again, even if I had a job, but not if I went back to Cambo on a summer team. All that being said, in my head I wasn't able to go back.Though I had no intentions of going back on a summer team, one of my friends strongly encouraged me to apply again, and continue to pray about it. I was busy with school and everything else, so I didn't want to waste time on the application when I knew I wasn't going back, but because of my friend's persistence, I applied (though with a bad attitude).
I continued to pray about it over the next month or so and over time I was 50% sure I was going to go, then 60%, then 75%, then 80, 90, 95, 97.5 ... I texted my friend with each percentage. (It kind of became a game / joke.) Finally, the day before we were told if we were accepted to go, I was 100% sure that I needed to go back, and I even called my mom. (That's when I know things like that are FOR SURE. If I tell her, and am ready to deal with her response then it's a done deal!) God changes even the hardest of hearts.
The following day, I received the email saying that I was accepted on the team. Then it was time to write my support letter, start letting people know I was going, and how they could pray and give financially. (As a side note, there were different girls that were maybe or maybe not going to accept and join the team, so that was a time for all of us to seek God, listen to Him, and trust Him.)
In the few months between knowing I was going and actually going a second time, "everybody" asked me if I was going to be a Mi$$I0nary. Again and again, I said, "as of right now, God hasn't told me that," or, "no, it's just for one month, then I'll come back and get an engineering job." (Note: I still don't know what my life will hold in 2015.)
- In Cambo
During the summer trip, the workers in Cambo mentioned several times about a two year program, though not to me specifically. I played with the idea of it and thought of what life would be like, but again it was impossible. I have student loans, a degree that I need to use, family, ... There was one day that I forgot my ticket at the hotel when we were visiting some temples. One of the leaders (who was there with the 2-year program) dropped off all of the other people then took me back to get my ticket. While we were driving back to meet up with the group I had the thought to ask him "why" he joined the 2-year program / "how he knew." I had the thought but didn't want to ask because I figured he'd think I was interested in coming back for two years and I wasn't (or so I thought!). I couldn't shake the thought to ask him, so I finally did.
There were also several quoting's about being "willing and available." I thought I was willing, but not available.
Finally a day or two before my team left to go back to America, something changed and my eyes began to open ... "I could come back ... maybe". As I realized this, I made a list (kind of a pro's and con's list for coming back for two years or getting an engineering job. Both would give great opportunities and be difficult and exciting in different ways. Then I read Isaiah 40 and was reminded of how God knows what He's doing and is more than capable of taking care of my student loans, and working out the whole job thing. I also realized that I was taking this new possibility as a burden, something I would do if I had to because I wanted to be obedient to God, rather than looking at it as an opportunity to serve God and know Him in a different way! In reality, I was available but not willing.
>> NOW WHAT? (2012)
Now it was an option to go back, for possibly two years. I wasn't sure if I would, but I definitely began praying about it. As I told people, most of them had the same response, "I figured you would [go back / do some kind of mI$$0ns]." How did everybody know except me?For several days (I'm thankful it was a pretty short time of uncertainty), I prayed about it, and talked to friends and family (everyone except my mom, because I wanted to be fairly sure before I got her all worried about it ... bad idea.) One day, I was at OU in the Union ( I was going to stay the night with a friend, but she was at work and I didn't know where else to go - even though I'd already graduated) and praying that God would make it clear to me, then I got up to get a drink of water. As I came back to my booth, I saw a girl that was in several of my classes the previous year. I hadn't really talked to her before, we said hi and started talking about the national exam we'd taken. I told her I didn't know if I'd passed or not, because I'd been out of the country for the past month and couldn't check my email. That brought up where I went and what I was doing. It turns out, she's from Vietnam. Then she asked me if I was looking for a job (since I'd just graduated). I explained how I wasn't really sure what I was doing.
This completely blew her mind. She told me over and over that I needed to get a job, then go to Cambo. The people won't be able to listen to my story about Jesus because they're so hungry. I should work so I can buy food. They need food. As I explained to her that it is much more important that they know Jesus, "the bread of life," I realized that I'm saying all of this, and I do truly believe it, but my actions weren't following my words. It was pretty clear that I should go back ... not just because there are people in Cambo that need to hear about Jesus, but because I really felt like that's what God wanted me to do, and He made me to want it too! I was able to share The Truth with her, and she shared some about Buddhism with me. Though she didn't agree and couldn't begin to understand, I knew, and God used her to show me that I was going back to Cambo!
ALL OF THE FOLLOWING WILL BE UPDATED AT SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
>> YOUTH CAMP (2012)
Labels …
>> GUIDE / ROAD TRIP (2012) …
>> WAITRESS (2012) …
>> PREPARE TO GO (2012-2013) …
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