Last year Crystal went with Chan-na to her province. Since Crystal left before Khmer New Year, Chan-na asked me to join her. We were supposed to ride together on her moto, but her brother and a few other guys visited the city, so we all rode on a bus together. We left at 6:30am and got to her house around 9am.
Typical Day
(I always leave somewhere wishing I'd taken more pictures. I don't know if that'll ever change. I feel so awkward taking pictures) So I don't have many pictures :-( Some of the pictures I do have were stolen from Facebook!
This is a picture of the house last year. (Since then, they added a room / kitchen to the back, right of the house, behind where the table is)
As we walked up to her house, I "joom reap sua'd" everyone (translation - I said hello). Then I sat down and was mostly quiet (my normal self - English or Khmer).
I was there for 3 full days (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday). Each day there was a water fight, napping and T.V. They also played cards / gambled and drank - traditional Khmer style. The "kids" / teens gambled with change. I think they gave about thirty cents every time they lost.
I spent at least 3 hours, or more per day watching Thai movies dubbed in Khmer. ( I realized how poor my Khmer was, when I couldn't even understand one full sentence. It made me want to try to listen for practice, but at the same time, it was easy to just watch and sometimes think about other things.)
watching Thai movies water fight
The first two days, we played traditional Khmer games in the afternoon, and went to the school yard to dance in the evening. This family (like most Cambodians) loves to dance!!! There is a traditional Khmer dance, that many people tried to teach me, but I could never figure it out. It's not difficult, I just can't dance. Chan-na and her cousins taught me. I can finally do it!!! Well, I can do the feet, but can't do the hands at the same time. But this is coming from the girl who can't clap and sing at the same time either. :-) Traditional Khmer dancing is just doing the same thing over and over again, while moving in a circle (like around a round-about). None the less, it was pretty fun!
dancing (It's dark, but you can see me watching the feet of the person in front of me)
Tuesday, we went to see some guys fishing for eel, and maybe other fish too.
fishing
The Family
From the very beginning, the grandma talked to me the most. I think all of the young people were intimidated and only a couple knew English.
Chan-na told me that for Khmer tradition, when you bring something to the family, you give it to the grandma and she prays or says a blessing for you. (I think it's for most Asian cultures, but when you go to someone's house you should take a gift, and in Cambodia, that gift is usually food.) I took a box of fruit and some candies, so Chan-na took a picture of me "officially" giving it to the family / grandma.
me and the grandma
After that, the grandma wanted me to take a picture with Chan-na's sister, Chan-tah. I'm sure glad she did, because otherwise I wouldn't have it. By the third day, Chan-tah and I would talk a little bit and I really liked her! In September Chan-na's two younger brothers, and this younger sister are supposed to move to the city to go to university. Please pray for this family to know The Way / The Truth / The Life!
me and Chan-na's younger sister
I got to talk a lot with two of Chan-na's cousins, Be (F) and Pe-ro (M). They both live in the city, and I may get to hang out with Be sometime when she has free time.
Things I learned:
- HOW TO WASH CLOTHES (by hand) - After all of the water fights I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it to the last day with the clothes I brought. I debated on what to do, looked for Chan-na, but she was busy, then saw Ve-sna. (Ve-sna has studied at the student center for over a year, she was my student last semester, and she is one of the shyest girls I've ever met.) I saw this as an opportunity, so I asked her to help me, because I'd never washed clothes with my hands before.
- HOW TO WASH DISHES (Khmer style) - It's the same as washing clothes (minus the scrubbing board)
- HOW TO KILL / PREPARE A CHICKEN - I didn't actually do it, but I watched Chan-na do it twice, and I think I could do it :-) ( I ate FRESH chicken and fish everyday. Even the rice we ate was grown by Chan-na's family)
- HOW TO DANCE - explained above
- ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE - Tuesday, I talked to Pe-ro for a few hours before dinner. He asked several English questions and we just talked about random things. I looked at all of Chan-na's family and saw how they seemed to get along really well. (*Note: Chan-na's mom is one of six children. I think all but one or two of them were there with their spouse and children. There were also a few other random people, like myself. Everyone stayed at least three nights too.) In America, it's very common for one part of the family to be angry with someone else and there's a big fight one year, then the next year they don't come ...
I asked Pe-ro how they got along so well / didn't have big fights were people quit coming. (*2nd Note: Cambodians are very non-confrontational) He said that they just know how everyone is and basically move on. Then he gave an example of one guy who was there. This guy was drunk (drinking=happy, according to many Cambodians) and he was talking to me too much. He didn't do anything wrong, but it just wasn't right either. One time, Chan-na started pushing me away make an excuse for us to go up-stairs, away from him. So, Pe-ro said, "Like that guy who came with my uncle, we don't like what he did, but nobody will say anything."
If we could take this advice and just learn to accept people. No, we always want people to change because "we have to do more work," "they're not doing enough," "it's not fair," "They've wronged me, so they need to make it right" ... We don't necessarily just have to be passive people, but if we're really followers of Christ, don't we HAVE to forgive others as our Father has forgiven us? (Matthew 6:12, ) Really, how often do we sin against God? - everyday. How often do sin against God and not even know it, not confess it, not ask for forgiveness ...? - everyday. If our perfect Father forgives His sinful children, then us sinful people should forgive our sinful brothers and sisters(Mt 18:23-35)
This is something that we will always have to be a work in progress, but we need reminders. So here's my reminder and here's your reminder. We need to forgive and most times, that requires time at the Father's feet (In His Word, and in prayer) asking for His help, because we just can't forgive on our own.
- DON'T BE AFRAID - There were several times that I contemplated, do I try to help, or do I stay out of the way? If I stay out of the way, that might be better, but that also means they have to do all of the work and it could make me look lazy. Many times, I'm afraid of getting in the way or not being wanted / or helping and doing it wrong so I do nothing at all. I don't know that I've learned this lesson, and there were many times I did nothing, but there were times that I chose to take a chance and did something instead of nothing.
- NEXT TIME BRING SOCKS - I got ate up by mosquitos. Apparently the spray was not enough. We slept under mosquito nets, but before bed was dinner time (for the mosquitos). I joked with Chan-tah that my blood was delicious. She said my blood was sweet.
The monk's blessing:
On the third day of the Khmer New Year celebration, they have the monk come to the house. He throws water on people, and "blesses them." I felt extremely awkward taking pictures, but Chan-na said it was okay, and Crystal did it last year too. Here's a couple pictures and a video.
Before it started People were starting to sit down
Notice, everyone has their legs to the side. It's disrespectful to sit with your legs crossed "Indian style" or "criss-cross apple sauce"
