Righteousness?

(This is a long post, but please don’t let the length deter you from reading it!  it explains some about the culture, and a lot about what I’m going through right now.)

In most situations, I think, “What am I SUPPOSED to do?” or “What is the RIGHT thing to do?” This is not always bad, but I can be very legalistic, which is bad. I am sure I will be learning more about this for the rest of my life, but lately there have been a few situations that have brought up these thoughts.

1) Tear-E’s House
Last Sunday, my roommate and I were invited to our friend Tear-E’s house for lunch. (Yes this is the same Tear-E that I have written a lot about!) Before she even invited us, she kept apologizing and asking if it is okay that her house is very small, and there is not much room to sit. We assured her that it was okay, though I am sure she was still embarrassed about it. We met up with her then followed her to her house.

The front of her house is a barber shop where her dad, brother, uncle, and one hired man cut men’s hair. It is all one building where the barber shop is like the living room, then there is a door to a 12’x12’ room, with a doorway to a 12’x4’ room which connects to the 3’x12’ hallway. At the end of the hallway, on the right, is a bathroom about the same area as mine, but is rectangular, whereas mine is a square. Her uncle and one of her brother’s (22 years old) sleeps in the barber shop. Her dad, mom, and other brother (20 years old) sleep in the square room, and Tear-E sleeps in the tiny room. There are no doors except the door going outside and one separating the barber shop from the living part of the house.

We walked in through the barber shop and Tear-E’s dad was cutting a man’s hair in the chair closest to the door. I made the first of many mistakes by saying the wrong “hello.” I basically said, “Hey!” I knew as soon as I said it, that I’d said the wrong thing. 

Then we went to the house part and met her mom. Tear-E gave us the tour of her house, and kept saying how small it was. From what I know, it is the size of a typical middle class house in the city. Then there was that awkward, “do I help? Do I sit? … What should I do? What is culturally appropriate?” (I have close to the same feeling when visiting somebody’s house in America, so maybe it’s not that big of a deal.)

They stayed up late the night before to prepare the food. Tear-E and her mom brought the food to the square room, and we all (Tear-E and her mom, Crystal, and I) sat down on the floor around the food. Tear-E said, “We should pray.” Yay! I was so excited to hear her say that. Even among Christian friends in Oklahoma there is sometimes that awkward moment where everybody normally prays before meals, but nobody wants to mention it, which is very sad. This girl has been following Christ for just over a month and had no shame to thank our Father for the food with her Buddhist mom. (On a side note, she has told her parents about choosing to follow Christ! Praise the Lord for her boldness and that thought they do not agree or like it, they are “okay” with it so far!) Before we left we prayed for Tear-E’s mom because she has had some health problems. Please pray that God would heal her and use that to open her eyes to His love and power!

Everybody (all of the men, Tear-E, and her mom) had already eaten, but Tear-E still ate a little bit with Crystal and I, while her mom sat there with us. There was a little bit of conversation while we ate, but it was still pretty silent. One of Tear-E’s mom’s friends from work came over. (Her mom works at a factory. On Sunday’s the people at the factory don’t have to work, but they get paid a little more if they do, so Tear-E’s mom usually works 7 days a week. She took off that Sunday, just because Tear-E wanted me and Crystal to come over for lunch.) Another man came through the room while we were in there. Each time someone came through we said hello (the polite way ) and put our hands together (like prayer hands). I just kind of quickly brought my hands anywhere in front of me. Crystal whispered to me that they are supposed to come to my nose. Putting my hands lower says that I am above them.  Ahh, I heard that when I was here a year ago, but had forgotten.

Thankfully, those are all things that are forgivable because I am a foreigner, but I still felt really embarrassed. A few things I learned from this is that I can be better prepared next time I get to meet a student’s family, and I should be knowledgeable of the culture and try my hardest to follow it, but I also need to walk by the Holy Spirit and not be so completely consumed with only trying to not offend them.

After the mom’s friend came, the mom went into the small room. Tear-E asked us why there are so many eggs for Easter / what they are for. We had watched “The Rise of the Guardians” just two days before since it was a holiday (International Woman’s day) and all of the schools cancel class, so we had a movie night instead of regular class. This brought up interesting conversation about American holidays.

Many American Christians believe that since our holidays are not religious that it’s okay to celebrate them. Cambodian holidays are all spiritual and involve feeding spirits or worshiping gods … so Cambodian Christians are often told they should not partake in these holidays after they follow Jesus. I have heard this brought up several times, and wonder myself, “what is right?” Look at Romans 14!

-- Should Americans not put up a Christmas tree and tell their kids to believe in Santa? Seriously, as followers of Christ, how often do our conversations revolve more around Santa and other traditions than Jesus, Who is the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas, and the reason we are here on earth? 

–- Should Cambodians not celebrate Khmer New Year, Pchum Ben … holidays that “all” Cambodians celebrate. It’s clear in Scripture that you shall have no other gods before the One True God and you shall not make any graven images, or worship or serve them. But what if they are not worshiping other gods. Pchum Ben for example, is believed to be the day that the spirits in the lowest level / worst hell are released for one day. On that day they come up and people throw rolled up balls of rice at the temples. They believe that these spirits don’t get food throughout the whole year and their mouths are so small that they can only eat these tiny balls of rice. People do not know if any of their ancestors are in this hell so they go feed them just in case. If they don’t go and they do have an ancestor there, then the ancestor will basically “haunt” them over the next year because they did not feed them. Some people say they don’t go to feed the spirits, but like to do it because it’s tradition and it’s fun to throw rice-balls at the temples. Should a follower of Jesus partake in this???

2) Traffic Laws
If you’ve ever seen the traffic in this city you would think there are no laws. On the contrary, the laws are similar to those in America, but they are not enforced very much. For example, people run red lights all of the time, drive on the wrong side of the road, don’t wear helmets, and I have yet to see a posted speed limit sign in the city … Apparently you only “have” to follow these laws if there are police around. There are often a few police officers who sit at different corners and wait to pull people over. I have learned the hard way that you have to stop behind the cross walk. (I’m pretty sure that’s a law in OK too, but in the town I’m from nobody walks, therefore nobody stops behind the cross walk, and it’s not enforced.) From others I have learned that it is possible to get a speeding ticket and that you are not allowed to drive with your lights on during the day.

I am very much a person that likes rules and wants to follow them … to the point that if it’s not breaking a rule, “it’s okay” and if it is breaking a rule, "it’s not okay". One danger in being a rule follower is it becomes more about following rules and less about the heart behind it.

So in these different situations, what is right and what is wrong? Is it even “right” to ask about right and wrong or is there more to it? Where do you go when you don’t know what to do? The only place where you can find truth, God’s Word! The following are some verses that I have found to help me with these questions, though I don’t have a black and white answer (and I may never have one). However, if you are looking for answers, please don’t take these verses out of context, but also read the Scripture around these verses. If I have said anything that does not line up with the Word of God, or if you know of other passages to bring light to these questions please send me a private message on Facebook or email me at Krystyn.hobbs@gmail.com.

--> TRUTH
Rom 11:33-36 “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.”
Rom 3:10 “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one”
Rom 3:28 “Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.”
Rom 3:31 “Do we then nullify the Law through faith? May it never be! On the contrary, we establish the Law.”
Rom 4 - Faith is credited as righteousness
Rom 5:9 - We are justified by the blood of Christ
Rom 5:19-21 “For as through the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous. The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Rom 6:1-2 “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”
Rom 7:4-6 “Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. For while we were in the flesh, the sinful passions, which were aroused by the Law, were at work in the members of our body to bear fruit for death. But now we have been released from the Law, having died to that by which we were bound, so that we serve in newness of the Spirit and not in oldness of the letter.”
Rom 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Rom 12:9 “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”
Rom 13:1 “Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”
Rom 13:5 “Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake.”
Rom 13:8 “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.”
Rom 14 Read the whole chapter!
Rom 14:10 “But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.”
Rom 14:13 “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way.”
Rom 14:14-16 “know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil;”
Gal 1:10 “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”
Gal 2:16-21 “nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified. But if, while seeking to be justified in Christ, we ourselves have also been found sinners, is Christ then a minister of sin? May it never be! For if I rebuild what I have once destroyed, I prove myself to be a transgressor. For through the Law I died to the Law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly."
Gal 3:23-25 “But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.”
Gal 5:13-14 “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Psalm 119