Language

If you are wondering what my language study is like, here is a picture. I go to a place that specifically teaches Khmer to English speaking foreigners. Most of these foreigners are here for the purpose of furthering His Kingdom! I study one-on-one with two different teachers. This month, I study two days with each teacher, one or two hours each day, for a total of seven hours per week. There is no great purpose to having two teachers, except that one did not have openings every day, though it is helpful to get different styles of teaching! From the picture it may look like you'd be distracted by the other students and teachers, but all of the sound kind of blends together ... though there was one time that I studied the same time as my roommate and I could definitely hear her voice! :-) I just figured out that it is approximately 4 1/2 kilometers or 3 miles, from my house to where I study. It takes about 25 minutes by moto and 30 minutes by bicycle, to get there!

I have been learning a lot through studying Khmer. [If you are not sure what "Khmer" is, (pronounced "Kuh-my" or "K'my" ... that's right, no "r" sound! It's a silent "r"?!? :-)), it is an ethnic group and language of Cambodian people. You can refer to the people as Cambodian or Khmer. The language is called Khmer. Also, the country is called Cambodia or Kampuchea, and I sometimes hear people call the country Khmer as well.]

Anyways ... I've been learning:
1. Khmer! :-) hahahha
2. patience and grace with myself, my language teacher, and my students who are learning English
3. God's provision in giving me a desire to learn the language, but I could definitely have more of a desire! Even when I came on the two trips, I wanted to learn. That's ALL God! I could care less about knowing another language on my own.
4. some about the culture, for example: When buying clothes at the market, you first ask to look at the item (if it's not in reach). Second, ask the price and bargain. Third, ask to try it on. Fourth, you buy the item, or don't. If you want the item in a different color, or size, it is okay to ask at any point. This may all sound unimportant, but I was informed that it would be offensive to try on a shirt before bargaining. You also don't ask the price unless you have strong intentions of buying it!
5. humility
6. I cannot do this on my own. I NEED God!
7. about my own character

In some ways, I have been holding myself back in thinking that I'm not as useful since I don't know the language. I kept thinking that once I know enough to carry on a normal conversation and share the Gospel, THEN I will be valuable and able to do something for God's kingdom. I don't know how I can even partially believe those lies. I'm sure a lot of it is caused by my own insecurities and fears.
1. GOD is the ONE who is able to "do anything and everything" to further His kingdom. He is SO much greater than language, AND He lives in me and wants these people to know Him much more than I do!
2. I've seen Him work through me and others while I've been here, three times now, not knowing the language. Many people speak some English, and even with those whose English is so poor you can barely ask "how are you?" ... "good" ......... and that's it, God can and is still working. God's love is universal!
3. My identity must be in Christ, not in anything I can or can't do, or what any other person thinks.

God has been so good to open my eyes to this, and put people in my life who have encouraged me and prayed for me in this!

I was really encouraged by something a friend posted on her blog that she just started. She wrote, "I keep thinking to myself “nobody wants to hear what I have to say!” While this may be true, I just had to get over my insecurities and trust that maybe my unique position in life has given me experiences and insights that I could share to inspire or encourage others, so that is why I decided to take the plunge!" There is so much that I am insecure about and often don't do things because I am afraid of doing it wrong, or because I care about what other people think. It is never good to be led by fear, especially when we have the Holy Spirit to lead us!

Funny side note: I was asking one of my students something in Khmer, and after repeating it two or three times, she said, "in English." :-) What makes it even better is the girl that said this had mentioned to somebody else before that she came to the student center, either thinking she could speak English, or not caring so much about English, then I talked to her when I first came and she just nodded and didn't understand what I said, and this made her more excited to learn English! :-)